i love my mommy :)
& yes, i know she can pass as my sister. lolll
conversation in the background
(in tagalog) “whos singing?”
"kuya amang! kuya amang!"
me: “MY DAD!” :D
you can hear the excitement in my voice when i yell out “my dad!”
yes, he embarrassed me thousands of times with his weird craziness, but i was always js so happy & proud to be his daughter. he ws such an amazing man. i love you & i miss you dad.
it’s js one of those nights.. when i js sit here & think about you. so im js grasping all the memories i have with you. even though its making me want to cry a lot right now. but i know its okay to cry… i just wish more than anything that you were still here. <3
an evening i’ll never forget
& i will admit that it was one of the worst nights of my life, & it changed my whole life & turned my whole life around..
i remember like it was yestrday
that morning i went to my nursing school for the morning to do some studying & during my lunch break i went to the car to take a nap, but stupid me left the radio on.. & then the battery died.. so i spent the rest of my study time calling & waiting for AAA. (so that day already started bad) but my car started & it was fine & after i caught up with one of my friends & js talked for a few hours, & that was nice. & after that i decided to go to the usual spot, its a grind, to do my usual weekday nightly thing & js study…
& then.. i got a phone call from my mom & it was one of the worst possible things a daughter could ever hear. “come home now. it is an emergency anak, your dad.. he just.. he passed out & he wont wake up ..” i immediately froze.. and js thought to myself.. is this really happening right now? … & then i packed my stuff up immediately & went outside.. but i just .. i couldnt drive .. i was in a panic, confused, every emotion was pumping through my brain and through my blood. & i knew Tim was planning to go on a bike ride that evening, but i called him any.. i remember js crying on the phone.. balling my eyes out, he could barely understand me but he dropped whatever it ws he ws doing came to me at its a grind & followed me home.. it was a good thing i couldnt drive bc i ws not able to drive calmly at all.. i was speeding on the way home.. thinking all of the worst possible things, & even ‘til this day i dont like it when Tim follows me home from its a grind just bc it reminds me of that evening… anyways, i remember pulling up to my house & my mom standing outside looking so frantic, & then Tim drove to Anaheim Memorial Hospital & we sat in the ER.. waiting to see my dad.. & waiting.. waiting.. waiting.. & as we waited my mom told me to call the family .. & that was js so hard to tell them on the phone .. i remember my Uncle Ted answering the phone in his jolly cheery voice .. but then he heard the pain & worry in my voice & came to us ASAP, & js seeing the look on his face, knowing that his brother isnt well, js broke my heart … & after everyone was able to see them .. the nurse from the ER called me in to see my dad.. i took Tim in with me bc i knew i couldnt do it alone.. & js seeing my dad in that condition .. it was too much for me to handle, i couldnt believe my eyes. he wasnt conscious, he had tubes down his throat for him to breathe, he was on a ventilator, a naso-gastric tube .. & had a tube in his brain to drain out blood.. i just.. i couldnt believe it .. & that’s when i felt my world crashing down .. my dad, the smartest man i knew, my strong hero who always saved the day .. was in this horrible helpless condition. it was too much… after that.. i remember my aunt telling me “it doesnt look good lorilynn .. (with her voice breaking) you have to be strong for your mom ok? you have to prepare for the worst..” after leaving the ER, they transferred my dad to Kaiser in Lakeview .. & Tim & i were behind the ambulance & the siren turned on .. & i remember telling him
"i never thought someone i knew would be inside an ambulance.. "
my dad was sent to the ICU. & i am js so thankful that the staff was so kind to my mom & i, letting us sleep over & stay by my dads side during his whole stay.. but i remember waking the first night .. & everything felt js so surreal, & it did not feel real, i felt like i was in some sort of nightmare ..
this is gna be a tough month for me..
must. stay. strong.
i love you forever dad.
this will always be my favorite picture of @timhasta & i
well, it is valentine’s day and i just wanted to say that i love this guy so much. (lololll as if you guys didnt know) he may not be the best at expressing himself, or at being the most romantic guy, but i really dont care because i know that he loves and cares for me & he shows that he does in many other ways.
you take care of me, you’re always there, you love me at my best and my worst. i love you tim :)
so i was looking through my parent’s camera and clearing out some space since my mom will be using it for her trip to Texas & i found this video of my dad & yes, i cried. & obviously this was an accidental video since my mom was trying to take a picture, but im glad i found it. i will hold every single memory of him in my heart. he was truly the greatest dad ever. & i miss him greatly.